This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
