I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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