i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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