Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
