I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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