this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
