he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
