man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
