Already got asked if we're dating
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
