I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
