you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
