Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
