my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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