Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
