..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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