I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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