We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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