and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
