I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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