R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
