From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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