im drinking this country out of the recession.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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