Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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