After last night, I could never be a politician.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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