Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
