big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
