It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
