There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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