Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
