I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
