yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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