I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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