Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
