Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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