You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
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