I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
