i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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