Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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