38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
