you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
