My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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