life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize