What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
