Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.

Fav 15 980 3205
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(561): View more from Florida

I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.

(561): View more from Florida

He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.

Fav 18 6710 1594
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(913): View more from Kansas

Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.

Fav 21 4207 1474
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.

Fav 1 2002 976
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(705): View more from Ontario

I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.

Fav 13 4259 1317
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(937): View more from Ohio

Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate

Fav 22 8127 1832
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(315): View more from New York

There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.

(440): View more from Ohio

its Wednesday...

(315): View more from New York

they're reeeeeally big trays

Fav 7 3264 1216
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?

Fav 3 24 69
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(320): View more from Minnesota

We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning

Fav 0 19 31
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