he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
