I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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