This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
