Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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