i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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