Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize