i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize