If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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