i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
