Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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