I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
