Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
