so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
