Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
