so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
