Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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