Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
