girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
