how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
