Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
