How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
