this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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