brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
