Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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