You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
