Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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