I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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