Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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