....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
