omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
