I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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