giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
